i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
