i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
