Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
