So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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