the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Pooping to opera.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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