i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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