So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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