College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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