Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
