Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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