uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize