That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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