i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
