The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
