I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
