Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
