what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
