How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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