they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
