stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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