remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
