The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
