it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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