He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
