Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
