dude i'm inner monologue high
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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