During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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