On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize