I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
