dude i'm inner monologue high
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
