pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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