you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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