i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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