JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
4 words: hood of his car
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
