that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
