JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize