His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
