Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
