What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
not ubering you a puppy
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize