I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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