Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Porn is love you can see.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
