he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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