I heard we made out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
