She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
