so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE