ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize