porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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