I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize