the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
