I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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