I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
