he puts the penis in happiness.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
