What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
