he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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