i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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