just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
