YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
