Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just invented taco cereal.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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