do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
