I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
