Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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