It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
